can't slp

actually it's nt can't slp.. but i juz watched finish 'The Day After Tml'.. and now i noe it's an awesome movie.... touching.. something like 'finding nemo' where it's over fatherly love and love and wad love can do... makes me tink of terry again.. called him the day before... but he didn't pick up my call... msged him yesterday but there was no msg back...

at this moment of time... i am tinking..
.......................
"should i continue to wait for him?"
"should i juz forget him?"
"should i tok things out with him about whether there is chance for us to be back?"
"should i let go?"
"does my heart wan me to let go?"
"wad does my heart wan to do?"
"continue being hurt.. or crazyly thinking about him everyday?"
"can i accept if we cannot continue on?"
"should i cry to slp every time i tink of him?"
......................

time can change things... like in the movie... it changed from a serious bad weather with no hope of surviving... to a glorious weather with survivours.... can me and terry be like that? does he noe how much my heart yearns for his return??? should i tell him??? does he even care if i tell him?? i am single now... i noe that's the fact.. but juz tt... i can't accept anyone else in my life... i find it so difficult to even love or feel for someone else... i accepted one.. that is dar dar... but the thing is i am not the onli one in his life.. and i noe that i cannot be the onli one... some part of me wants to leave him... but the other pushes to stay with him and maybe there will be a chance.. a miracle that will happen somewhere and somehow... i can't accept jackal... i dunnoe y... but the tot of starting a brand new relationship is nt very attractive to me... i can't find a space in my heart to even love anyone else... except for my parents and ping and sarah and padma... my heart is like a choked pipe... stuck full to the brim... wad can unchoke pipe?? wad's the best solution? i dun wanna run away from it.. i wan myself back... the marilyn that can let things go easily and nt tink bout it anymore... i wanna be my old self... but terry juz appears in my mind... no matter where i am or wad i am doing... it's like a drug... tink i muz go for rehabilitation.... maybe something is suppose to happen in order for me to love again... i reallie hope that something or miracle will happen quick....

but in the meantime... my aim is still to get my driving license before the 4th of May!!! although the date is rather tight.. but i will try... even if i cannot be there to celebrate for him... a simple sms to wish him is fine with me... no point getting him things when i have got nothing in return... except a big heart he folded for me and neo prints that we took last time.. memories of him will end... i hope.... actually... ASAP.... i can't stand this tormant anymore... looking at couples go by... lovely telling each other that they love each other... i can too.. but wait till i forget terry lim dao rong... my life will change... it will surely change for the good and the good of all the guys out there....