huge quarrel

today's quarrel was the worst lor... started at his place.. then ended up quarreling with him at changi village lor.. somemore in front of jerren and kelvin lor...

i didn't want to sit his van when we wanted to go back.. so i juz sat in kelvin's car.. then when kelvin drove off.. he called me but i nvr answer the call.. then he call kelvin ask me get into his van.. but i still didn't want.. he came down to the van and drag me out of the car lor... he pulled me with great force lor... jerren see also got a shock lor... he was super mad lor.. i was like farking scared lor.. legs were trembling like mad lor... heart beating like nobody's business lor... i was dam scared... then those farking ah gua keep waiting for him to slap me or something lor.. then he scolded them... they kept carrying the phone and waiting to take pic of him slapping me lor.. then after a while.. they kept making a lot of noise lor.. i cannot tah han then i shouted 'diam' at them lor... then after a while they stopped looking... then we continued our quarrel lor..

tink it's juz me lar.. i noe it's my fault but i juz keep quiet and dun solve everything... then when at my place already.. i kept wanting to break with him lor.. but dun have the guts lor.. he juz kept forgiving me over and over again lor... i juz wan him to say break and that's it lor.. but he is always trying to save it... y??? i;m i that worth for him to forgive when i do so many toopid things.. dun understand lor... then he wanted me to 'si nine' him.. 'orh neh' him lar.. very farnie lor.. him telling me wad to do lor.. felt freaking farnie... hahaha... but then i did lar... haha. was laughing my head off after he left....

ger was very sweet lor..she scared something happen to me and asked kelvin to wait and see wad happened... then she called and asked if everything was fine lor... she waited till 4 plus lei... went roounding with kelvin at the same time makign sure nothing happen to me lor... touched lor.. hai~...

i betta get some rest.. tml still got to go for e-trial lesson.. then after that my driving lesson at 4 plus.. dunnoe whether he will come and fetch me after my lesson anot... tink not lar... after wad happened today...

hate myself for being so soft... juz hate it.. i use too much of my heart lor...